Looking back it is clear where I went wrong. I did not understand that it was my attitude, my unique taste for what I was about with respect to fashion, that dictated my lucky success.

Instead I thought it was money, and more money that was the answer.

That's how I lost myself to money in the pursuit of happiness.

Today I know my art is about exploration of my visions, it's about finding out where I  stand in this world, it is about giving life to the hidden truths within me. Art is about creating, it's a living process; money is a dead object, its acknowledgement is a declaration of the past; as nice and necessary that it may be, in the realm of creativity it does nothing but corrupt the magic.

Back to my story. Less than 18 months later I felt miserable, working like hell but seeing none of the previous rewards. The money was still there, but none of the fun. In the past when I was designing a shirt, I would ask myself, what do I think is cool, what moves in the fashion world, and how do I want to influence it from my little corner of the world.

Now all I was thinking was "will this sell?"

That shift in my way of thinking made all the difference, and when 6 months later a business associate approached me with the offer to buy my boutiques, I didn't think long about it. I wanted out. 

It was a happy ending.

Today I count my blessings. I have tasted financial success at a young age, I have experienced what happens when I let money become the end goal, and I managed to do it before I had any real responsibilities of the world upon my shoulders; I was, in other words, free to leave, learn from my mistakes, and start over. 

Today I hold my passion sacred. 

That's why, when I find myself with a bit of spare time and a sketchbook, I ask myself: What do I really want to create.

That's exactly what happened last week when I was waiting with nothing to do, two free hours to kill and a sketchbook and a blue ballpoint pen in hand.

This little sketch became the answer.

Once a drawing is finished I might leave it as is, I might turn it into a watercolor piece (as I did with Circus below) or I might transfer the image unto a canvas and turn it into a painting. 

I have not yet shared any of my sketches on my blog or in my newsletter because I have beenliving under the impression that no one would be interested in seeing that part of my journey.

But recently I have been given a few nudges indicating the contrary to be true.

So this is what I want to askyou this week.

I want to know if you think she is finished as she stands, should she be turned into a watercolor piece, or should she become a canvas painting?

Let me know what you think!

"I struggled with finding my path growing up, caught between an alcoholic father and a system I didn't fit in, I had to learn the hard way to question everything while trusting my own subjective experience in life."

Shine on, you crazy diamond!